Sunday, February 12, 2006
Posting on Wednesdays and weekends




Life Lessons: The Gift, The Giver, The Gift


I stood in the Spean Bridge Woollen Mill store in Edinburgh Scotland, almost overwhelmed by the softness and gorgeous colors of all the mohair throws. I just couldn't decide on which two to get for my mother and for myself. Finally, I settled on one in blues and green, and another in the same tones with some purple too, the colors of the hills and heather of Scotland itself.

Home again, I started to wrap my mother's, the one with the purple, but oh, I just loved that one and couldn't part with it. I felt the tiniest twinge of... something... at keeping it. Not that the second one, the blues and greens, wasn't equally beautiful. Not that she didn't absolutely love the one I gave her.

My throw quickly became my snuggle-down-and-read blankie, well worn and getting a bit grubby. One day a helpful child washed it for me, and dried it too. Of course it... tightened up... a bit. Still lovely colors and soft, but... denser. I continued to use it but it just wasn't the same.

Some years later, my mother died and as I sorted and sorted, re-read my daily letters to her, threw things out, set other things aside, and packed and packed, I came across that lovely mohair throw in blues and greens. In the way of mothers probably in every place and probably in every age, she had decided that the throw was too beautiful, just plain too good, to use. It was pristine, packed in layers of tissue paper, as soft and cozy and new as when I'd bought it in Edinburgh. It was such a gift...

It became of course my new snuggle-down-and-read blankie. And it has taught me many, many lessons. Some very obvious, such as what we give, we get, sometimes literally. I have been reminded everytime I run my hand over that throw about the timeless and wonderfully-woven nature of love.

Other learnings have been more subtle as I've really thought about saving things for good. And those lessons have not been lost on the next generation either. A few years ago Sally gave me a really nice, and I'm sure expensive, pocketbook with the admonition that if I put it away and didn't use it because it was too good, she'd come and take my old pocketbook and throw it out.I use it! We also use the good china for everyday, and hard as it is, I'm trying to keep my closet clearer of ratty, old, bang-around, everyday clothes!

Years ago, a trip, a far-away shop and a gift, soft and warm. Who knew, who could possibly know... The gift, the giver, the gift... more lessons for a loving life.

Mary

Wednesday, February 8, 2006
Posting on Wednesdays and weekends



Slimming Down Your Usual Foods...

Midweek, a bright and crispy cold winter day. Hmmmm, supper, what to have for supper? I don't have menus done ahead for this week, winging it from day to day instead. Check the cupboard. What looks good...

We'll be having baked beans, brown bread and cole slaw for supper tonight. Now, Bert will have a piece of ham from the freezer with the beans, which are vegetarian for me. I've already made the brown bread and the cole slaw earlier this morning. If you haven't tried the recipe in The Frugal Family's Kitchen Book for easy un-steamed brown bread, it's a gem.

Made with two cups whole wheat and only 1/2 cup white flour, this brown bread has no added fat. There's molasses, raisins and chopped nuts and two cups of sour milk which I make with low- or no-fat milk. This makes a dense, fragrant loaf loaded with good nutrition.

So far, so good for a high fiber, low fat supper. Now , that cole slaw. Very tempting to make it as usual with some mayo or mayo-yoghurt mixture for dressing. But, I saw a recipe, no added fat, in one of my cookbooks, and I made that slaw while the brown bread was baking.

You finely shred four cups cabbage (I used a mixture of red and green), mix in some finely chopped onion and green pepper, sprinkle with 1 tsp. celery seed and two TBSP sugar, then add 1/4 cup vinegar (I used wine vinegar) and 1/4 cup water, mixing well. The recipe says, that like most slaws, it'll be even better if it sets overnight, but I made it early enough that at least it'll have all day for the flavors to get acquainted. I've made a recipe similar to this before where you made almost a syrup for the dressing, and it was good, but this was even simpler.

For one week, try to pick just one dish each day to prepare in a more healthy way. Just that one small step. Boy, do I feel virtuous about this supper! Now, if I can just keep from slathering cream cheese on the brown bread. Well, it really doesn't need it...

Mary

P.S. I noticed when I posted this that it listed the time as something ridiculous, like 6:45 in the morning. Good heavens! I wouldn't want you to think I was up cooking at that hour... It's actually about 10:30 as I post this!

Monday, February 6, 2006
Posting on Wednesdays and weekends


I'm Late, I'm Late...


for a very important date! Here it is Monday and I'm just sitting down to write. But, of course, there's a good reason...babysitting the grandchildren for the weekend.

It's always fun to spend time with Baxter and Katie, and this time we decided we'd pick the flick for their usual Friday night movies. We reached w-a-y back and shared the classic Disney Alice in Wonderland with them. Now of course, I'd seen it as a kid, I'd watched it with my kids, but oh, one more generation removed... how very different it looked!

The good parts were all there... The harried, hurried White Rabbit, "Off with her head!" Tweddle Dee and Tweedle Dum, the Cheshire Cat, and best of all, the Mad Hatter's Tea Party. But this time, I saw and appreciated Lewis Carroll's sly subtleties, some of which weren't so subtle. Maybe this is one more gift from the grands, a new perspective on the old and familiar. Ahhhhh, through the eyes of a child...

Now, I can't wait to see Pinocchio with the grands. But in the meantime, I wish you a Very Merry Unbirthday!

Mary

Wednesday, February 1, 2006
Posting on Wednesdays and weekends



Soooo... How're You Doing on Those Resolutions?

Well, somehow we have gotten through January, a month filled with good resolutions about losing weight, getting in shape, watching our money, getting organized, and... and... All those wonderful plans were challenged of course by after-holiday bills, the dire desire to eat, eat, eat on dark winter days, the call of the comfortable couch, and well, life in general, right?

Let's just look at that weight losing resolution and see if we can get back on track. My TRP(Tonnage Reduction Program!) had centered on happy thoughts that "I'd be careful what I eat," "watch it," and "cut out junk." HA! On the last day of the month I weighed exactly what I'd weighed on the first day of this new year.

Time to get drastic! Going back to the work I've done over the years when I have lost weight, I thought about my three biggest challenges: eating slowly, portion control, and social eating. What to do, what to do!

Well, last night I was playing in a cribbage tournament, doing well with my Diet Coke, UNTIL a birthday cake appeared for one of the regulars. And it was chocolate... Well, of course I had to have a piece, and as I wasn't cutting, it was a b-i-g piece. Did I eat it all? You bet! RATS!

A new day... I have to measure what I eat much as I absolutely hate doing that. AND, far, far more important, if someone else is serving, I have to eat only, ONLY, what would be a reasonable amount even though it's way wicked hard for me to not "clean my plate." The measuring... for years I've had juice, cottage cheese and chopped walnuts for breakfast, a great start to the day for me. But, ahhhh, that 1/3 cup of cottage cheese had crept up... up to a generous 1/2 cup. No big deal really, but then, yes, it IS a big deal, really.

S-L-O-O-O-O-W down! Good advice of course, but oh-so-hard! I think I learned my bad speed-eating habits during ten years of teaching. If I was very lucky, I'd have 12 minutes to wolf down my lunch. IF I didn't have lunch duty! That same good advice tells us to pause between bites, eat smaller bites, savor our food, etc. Yup, sounds good. Conscious effort is the only answer. Okay, then...

And so, on February 1st, I'm re-resolving! How about you? Mary

Sunday, January 29, 2006
Posting on Wednesdays and weekends


Life Lessons: Learning Patience

I tend to deal with almost everything head-on and full speed ahead, not always the wisest approach to challenging situations, people, or perhaps even life in general. Somehow, I thought that mellowing would come with age, but, ahhhhhh, not so! I find I want to fill the faster-moving days with even more... and more.

Now I love to knit, not being able to stand idle hands when we're on the road, or even watching the evening news. A few weeks ago I started a top for my daughter Hannah, a vest with a fairly intricate pattern for the first 35 rows of 196 stitches per row. It will be a gorgeous garment, knit in a luxurious and expensive silk yarn.

I got three rows done and realized there was a mistake. Rip out. Start over. Cast on 196 stitches. Got to ten rows. Unknit. Check the pattern every so often. Six rows. Rip out. Start over. Cast on 196 stitches. Tediously count the stitches at the end of each row. Fourteen rows. Scream! Rip out. Cast on... And so on through eleven attempts. I worried that I was wearing the poor yarn out, that the top would look used before it had ever been worn. And I was getting more and more impatient.

The pattern was in multiples of ten stitches plus six more stititches divided between the beginning and the each end of the row. So I decided that the only way I could conquer this project was to slow down (oh, NO!) and make sure that each 6-stitch beginning and end, each ten-stitch pattern, and each row of 196 stitches was right. UGH!! At that point I just wanted this vest done so I could move on to the next project on my knit list.

I am now on row 24, and moving along oh-so-slowly, but surely. I have had to unknit maybe one or two rows, but have done that most patiently instead of just ripping out the whole damn thing and starting again. And, I love the way this vest is going to come out!

Taking my time has been a hard lesson for me, one I'm sure has not been learned for the last time! But slowing down, even just a little bit, even when I've dropped a stitch and have to un-do/re-do, is a lesson I hope to knit into other areas of my life, because life, with all its ins and outs, ups and downs, hard work and beauty, is certainly the most intricate pattern I'll ever attempt!

I hope you'll share your life lessons with me. You can leave a comment by clicking below on Comments. You don't have to be a blogger, register, or even leave your name.

Mary

Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Postings on Wednesdays and weekends


Soup and Stew Weather...

Last week, it was spring-like here on the coast of Maine, but this week winter has returned. Not a deep-freeze but the every-other-day pattern of light snow, perfect weather for soups and stews, meals that are hearty, tasty and decidedly frugal.

Let's look at some mix-n-match possibilities

Soup/Stew / Salad/Side / Bread

baked bean soup / chunky applesauce / cornbread

rich carrot soup / spinach with goat cheese and toasted pecans / biscuits

chicken stew / four-bean salad / dumplings

beef 'n' gravy / cole slaw / focaccia

All of the soups/stews can be left simmering in your slow cooker and all salads/sides can be made ahead of time or by that child or spouse who gets home ahead of you. The cornbread, biscuits and dumplings make up very quickly while the focaccia does take some planning ahead.

If you've made focaccia or other bread on a weekend, hopefully you've put some in the freezer for a mid-week supper. Or you can always take whatever bread you've got handy (French or Italian is super good), spread with butter, sprinkle with garlic salt and a heavy layer of parmesan cheese and toast.


The recipes mentioned about are in The Frugal Family Kitchen Book, but if there's one you especially want to try, just send me an email (marywebb@maine.rr.com) and I'll send it on to you.


Mary

Sunday, January 22, 2006
Posting on Wednesday and weekends


Do You Remember...

When someone says that, don't you find yourself leaning toward them just a little, anticipating the connection of either a shared memory or a memory question you might well be able to answer. "Do you remember" is such a wonderful invitation!

We've talked over the past few weeks about the power of shared memories in strengthening connections and building community, and we've acknowledged the conscious effort it takes these busy days to make new memories. But it is in the reinforcing, the "Do you Remember-ing" that we see the true beauty and bounty of a shared moment or past.

Consider for a minute one situation with two outcomes, both of which I bet you've experienced:

You are driving down a county road in the springtime with a friend when you see a big snapping turtle lumbering across the road, probably pregnant and looking for a spot to nest on the swampy side of the street. You swerve around the turtle and go a little further before you screech to a stop saying to your friend, "You know the next people coming along this road, just may not miss that turtle." You back up, both hop out and head toward the slow-moving turtle,nothing but kindness on your mind; you'll help her to the other side and safety.

But of course, you also remember that snapping turtles can be well, a bit tetchy, to say nothing of vicious under the right/wrong circumstances. Somehow between the two of you, with great seriousness and much laughter, you... encourage... the turtle to hurry a bit. Then just as she starts down the bank on the far side of the road, you slip down that same banking ending up mud-covered from neck to knees. But, still laughing!

You get back to your car, get brushed off, cleaned up as best you can, still talking and joking about "rescuing" the turtle who's probably back in the swamp telling all her friends about you. And you head off, back on your way to wherever you'd been headed.

Now, here are two scenarios you may have experienced after an incident such as this: You and/or the friend re-inforce the shared memoriy with a small bobblehead turtle for the other's dashboard, or send a silly email, or make it a point to tell the story when you're both with a group of friends. All these things make you feel... how?? That the time with you hada been valued? Do these little follow-ups re-inforce the spirit of fun, connection, and even community you felt. Do these reminders bring you a bit of warmth all over again?

Or, have you experienced the second scenario... you have an experience like this with a friend, nothing world-saving or earth-shattering, but with the makings of a good shared memory, and yet, it's never mentioned again. "Oh, it's just something that happened..." Yes, that's true, but it can be much more.

So, this week, send a note (email or snail mail such a delight to receive these days!) to someone asking, "Do you remember..." or "I was thinking about you the other day and remembered..." Even better, do you have a shared memory involving two or three people who have somewhat fallen out of touch with each other? Send each that note, and maybe even end it saying "We've really got to get together and make some new memories as good as the old ones!"

Most of all, if you know someone who lost a person (or even a pet) this past year, please take a minute and send them a shared memory. Connection, community. Some things truly are priceless.

Mary

You can leave a comment on this posting by clicking on Comments below. You don't have to be a blogger, or register, or even leave your neam. Keep in touch, I'd love to hear form you!

Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Postings Wednesdays and weekends


One Small Step At a Time...


In a recent posting, we talked about not trying to climb the mountain all at once, but rather taking small steps, one foot in front of the other. One small step whether that mountain is weight loss, saving money, managing your time better, or some other goal you truly want to accomplish.

Very strange how these things happen! Shortly after I wrote that I was at the library (absolutely one of my favorite haunts!) and a small book caught my eye and came into my hand: One Small Step Can Change Your Life - The Kaizen Way by Robert Maurer, Ph.D. I'd never heard of it, but it is a gem, and I strongly recommend it if you're having trouble getting those mountains down to molehill size so you can start climbing.

One Small Step is a very pragmatic, practical little book, its focus entirely on the do-able, no matter how small that may be. One major change I'm making is when I think of a project or something I want to do and find that my immediate reaction is, "I can't do that!" Now, I keep asking what Maurer calls "little questions" until I get down to whatever tiny, trivial part of the project I can comfortably do, the itsy-bitsy step where I find myself saying, "I can do that!" and then I do that tiny bit. Period.

Just discovering what kaizen is and how the concept evolved is valuable for shifting thinking from the big impossibles to the gadzillion possibles. And that alone makes reading this book well worthwhile!

*********************

Another rainy day here on the coast of Maine, very cosy but quite unusal for mid-January. While we may often have a mid-month thaw, this year we have no snow cover after a series of rainstorms. I keep telling myself ahhhhhh, less snow to shovel, less deep frost in the ground, less heating , but still I'd love a soft swirly snowstorm, the kind that hushes the whole world.

Mary

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Sunday, January 15, 2005
Postings Wednesdays and weekends


Building Community Through Shared Memories...

"So," a friend asked me after reading last Sunday's posting, "since you're talking about "shared memories" as a working definition for "community," what's the difference between a shared experience and shared memories?" What a great question!

To me, a shared experience means people and a commonality: perhaps in the same place, perhaps at the same time, perhaps doing the same thing, perhaps even interacting. But, I think a shared memory goes a step further and includes the concept of connecting.

Beyond a purely personal sense, think about the explosion of the shuttle Challenger. What takes that from shared experience to shared memory is the ways in which we connected at the time, and how we continue to connect through memories of the event whenever it comes up. The same is true of other "cohort" experiences that cross all socioeconomic considerations, events that we as a people have lived through together - for an older generation Pearl Harbor, for baby boomers the assassination of JFK, and most recently for all of us, 911. For many, these shared memories provide a powerful sense of community.

But how about our daily lives, often rushed, filled with unending demands on our time and energy, demands that make maintaining familyships and friendships a challenge. We need to make memories, share memories, treasure memories, and of course reinforce them. But, HOW?

Making memories would seem easy, but keeping-in-touch has come increasingly to depend on email, the telephone and other, well... not-really-shared togetherness. So, first off, we need to re-commit to actually seeing people, getting together. And, that's never as easy as it sounds, is it? I cannot believe what it took a few weeks ago to "negotiate" a date for dinner with two other couples!!

So, think about it... with whom would you like to strenghten your connection, your sense of community?? Someone in the family, a group you've lost track of, a few old friends you realize you miss? Now that the "who" is firmly in mind, how about the "what?" Something as simple as a walk, a few games of cards, working together on a small project? Okay, got an idea? Good! Now... the biggie... WHEN?

Let's check in next week and see what we've both come up with. Then we can look at wonderful ways to build on this, or to use it to re-connect... Community is so very valuable and so well worth a little time and thought. Don't you think??

See you Wednesday! Mary

Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Postings Wednesday and weekends


Where Do Recipes Come From...

No, no, this won't be that kind of a posting, but rather a look at recipes do get around!

Several years ago my friend Paula shared a recipe for broccoli salad, a tasty dish filled with chopped raw broccoli, onions, bacon, raisins, and sunflower seeds all in a mayo-vinegar dressing. This is a recipe I've served often since, a dish that has never failed to get rave reviews, a recipe much requested. Now Paula had gotten the recipe from another friend of hers, and I thought that person had "invented" it. Hmmmm....

Reading last Sunday's paper, I happened on an article about the chef to the first President Bush, and how/what this chef cooks for the former first family. The article made mention of Mr. Bush's well-known aversion to broccoli and Mrs. Bush's subtle attempt to slip it onto his plate via... you guessed it... a broccoli salad, one which certainly sounded about like the above. Hmmmmm

Have you ever had this happen? A recipe often comes to you handwritten, maybe on an old 3x5" card. You've never seen anything quite like it, and it's really good. Months later, you A) see it in a magazine; B.) find it featured on a tv cooking show; C.) discover it in an old cookbook; or most interesting of all, D.) get a copy in the mail from a good friend half a county away who just "knows you'd like this."

There's a website where you can keep track of the circulation of a dollar bill... wouldn't it be fun to see how a recipe makes the rounds! Of course considering today's recipes, concoctions that combine unlikely ingredients in truly unusual ways, I think it's the old standbys that are most like to be passed on.

Let me give you that recipe for broccoli salad, in case you missed it. I've included some of the modifications I make, and I do hope you'll experiment with some of the ingredients. This is NOT just a summer salad, but a great addition to the winter table too.

Broccoli Salad

Dressing - Mix and let set at least two hours

1 c mayo (I use 1/2 to 2/3 c)
1/2 c sugar (I use 1/4 c)
2 TBSP vinegar (try different kinds)
1 medium onion, chopped (try vidalia, red, etc.)

Add dressing to the following, tossing well to moisten all ingredients

2 large heads raw broccoli, chopped (great way to use stalks that you might otherwise discard)
1 c sunflower seeds
12 pieces bacon, fried crisp, well-drained, and crumbled

Now as a vegetarian, I really don't want the meat, so I mix everything except the bacon, then add that to 3/4 of the salad, using a few fake bacon pieces for the rest if I want that smoky flavor. Delicious, nutritious, and pretty inexpensive!

Mary